More Otaku Women Would Like to Get Married in Japan

The popular Japanese magazine Women SPA! shared an article about the difficulties otaku women in Japan go through in finding a boyfriend and, eventually, a husband. According to the article, the main problem is that these women have an extreme fear of rejection and prefer to postpone the search for a partner until it is too late.

The article features testimony from Ai Tanaka (田中亜依), a marriage counselor, who claims to have married after dating more than 600 men over a ten-year period, spending more than 7 million yen (more than $45,000) on dating services. Now, from her work she has supported more than 1000 men and women in their relationships each year, specifically in serious marriage experience.

While there are women who actively participate in marriage activities because they want to get married right away, there are also women who "don't really want to get married, but would like to if there is some good person." That's where "Sachiko" (fake name to cover the identity of the real person) comes in, a 43-year-old woman who has never participated in a matchmaking service. She finally took the courage and signed up with a marriage dating agency, but her activities have not progressed much, which caught the attention of the consultancy.

"Sachiko" hasn't always been interested in romance and has never been invited out for a drink, so the last time she had a boyfriend was when she was a college student. However, she said she wanted to get married because she wanted to have children and had recently signed up with a dating agency. "I signed up about three weeks ago, but I still haven't officially requested a session with any man interested in me. I have a job and have found it difficult to find time to dedicate to these activities. I'm tired when I go back to work during the week and I want to relax on the weekends, so I don't feel like doing marriage activities," she said.

However, when the consultancy reviewed his file, it turns out that he does have time to do the things he likes, such as going to anime events, his biggest hobby. For the same reason, suspicion arose about his attitude of wanting to get married but not making any effort to look for a partner. "Somehow, I feel like even if I ask for it, it won't work anyway. Maybe I don't want to see the reality of being rejected by a man," "Sachiko" admitted.

It's true that as you move forward in your marital activities, you may face the reality that your partner may say 'no' or that it's hard to find a good partner. It's easy to maintain the status quo because you're afraid to look at reality, like "Sachiko," and you can find any number of reasons not to take action.

Some people think that if they sign up with a marriage agency, they will meet someone and get married right away, but this may be wishful thinking. Using an analogy with cooking, the mere purchase of ingredients doesn't result in a finished product, does it? The dish is only complete when the ingredients are sliced and sautéed. Similarly, you cannot get married just by registering with a marriage agency.

If you really want to get married, what should you do? "Sachiko" herself knows this better than anyone. If you keep detaching yourself from reality, your current situation will not change in a few years. Maybe then you'll be older and in a more difficult situation in your married life.

When Sachiko was told about this, he declared, "I don't want that. I don't want to die alone," and she became emotional. If you can turn that emotion into energy for your married life, your married life is sure to progress. However, the question is how long you can sustain that emotion. If you go back to your usual cozy life and don't think about the future again, your enthusiasm will wane and you will lose the energy to continue your marital activities.

"There are a lot of 'Sachiko' in Japan. There are people who want to get married but unconsciously can't go ahead with their marital activities for fear of experiencing a reality they don't want to see or a feeling they don't want to feel. However, that won't help you at all. If you really want to get married, I think the most effective way is to challenge yourself, so it's not a bad idea to stimulate your daily life by challenging yourself with marital activities," the article concludes.

Source: Women SPA!